Wayne Green

Wayne Green

Monday, April 6, 2015

April 7th marks the 7 month anniversary........

First....there is this. Literally this moment is etched into my memory more than any other moment. As I leaned over his nearly cold body, as his breath went in and stayed there longer than it normally would.....his blue eyes opened........looking beyond this world......and his last breath was released and his heart stopped. I think about that single moment in time nearly every day.

 Then there is this........Grief does change us. The pain of it sculpts us into someone who understands more deeply. My heart would "go out" to other who lost someone special in their life, but now....I know the pain more intimately and my empathy is heightened and there is more of a sincerity when offer comforting words. I absolutely cry more easily..........losing my dad has affected far more in my life than I every imagined. I am sure even more than I actually know at this moment.

And finally.....this. Every day I am stronger because I made it one more day without my dad here on earth.

I will share this. After 7 months I can tell you that the acute pain of his death is duller, but the hole that was created is the same size and I can touch the pain, it is there, and sometimes I touch it, just so say the world is not going on without him........

I miss him more today then I did yesterday. the pain is different, the emptiness almost seems to have grown. I will always love you Dad and not a single day goes by that I do not miss you......always....always.