Wayne Green

Wayne Green

Friday, September 4, 2015

September 4, 2015

I have had a very busy week of orientation as a new faculty member at the University of Michigan School of Nursing. It is not lost on me that I have started working at my DREAM job exactly one year after having walked through losing my father.....a man who would be incredibly proud of me for this achievement. More on that later.....first....a walk through 2 days from a year ago.  There are a few posts, so start at the bottom and read up......

Wow....I reember that it went so quickly, but after reading through these posts, I am shocked at just HOW quickly it really went. Tuesday morning he let go of his hope of having a heart cath and within 24 hours he had let go, and 12 hours after that he was bed bound. The most remarkable thread that runs through these posts is the fact that in such a short period of time so many people came to see him and he lived hours away from most family. What a wonderful gift so many people gave him. I remember each of the moments that I wrote about below....the joyful moments and the sorrowful moments........in particular.....the dichotomy of Joy and Sorrow.....I remember as if it were yesterday the joy of knowing this giant of a man and that he was my father and the sorrow of knowing that I was going to lose him in a matter of days............3 more days

Thursday, September 4, 2014

September 4, 2014 - Evening update

Sorry to keep anyone hanging. My Dad is still with us. Breathing is labored. Most of the company has gone. *Deep Breath* I am. I just am. My Aunt Norma and Aunt Susan gave me the best hugs today that brought out a little bit of the daughter out. I logically know I need to be the daughter....it is just harder for me to let that out when the professional seems to be needed.
If I were doing nursing charting on his condition at this moment I would say:

Patient actively dying. Multiple system failure. 1+ pitting edema bilateral lower extremities. Ascites (edema around the abdomen). Irregular body temparture regulation. Labored breathing. Sleeping 22 out of 24 hours. Oxygen at 6 liters per Nasal Cannula. Pulse bounding and 80 beats per minute. no food intake since AM. Insulin pump removed. Sliding inslin scale in place if needed.

Here is what I say as a daughter.

My father is loved by more people then I possibly could imagine. I sit in awe of the flow of people, some that I have never met, coming to his bedside to tell him how loved they have always felt by him, what a wonderful role model he is to the teenage children of one who stoppped by......it is countless. Such dichotomy to feel such joy and such sorrow at the same time.

The daughter version is so much nicer to read..............

My gut says that he is trying to make it to Sunday to see Jen, John and the kids......his symptoms give me pause as to if he can make it......it is my hope that he does.

No more updates tonight unless there is a change in his condition. I will update first thing in the morning should the night go by without a bump.

I can't thank each of you enough for reading along, for loving my Dad, and for doing whatever you can to let him know that. All of the moments have been treasured by him....and those of us sitting in awe of it all.

Thursday, September 4, 2014


We have such a large family. The Wayne Green Family alone is 55 and that doesn't count those that we still consider part of our family but are not yet married in. The Paul Green Family (my Dad's father and my dad's siblings) number into the hundreds. It isn't a surprise to see how loved my father is. My uncle Dave wrote something on facebook not too long ago about my Dad that said You have never been really hugged until you have been hugged by Wayne Green, he grabs you and doesn't let go until he is sure you feel his love. Let me tell you, this is the most accurate description you could be given.

This man is a giant of a man. He has not lived a perfect life. Probably far from it in different ways....but it isn't about how perfect you can live your life.  He has given countless people love beyond measure. I am sure there are people he has touched deeply that he doesn't even know about.

Those we know about, were some that were just here. It is touching to see how much he is loved. Moreover, think about the meaning this brings to HIM to hear how each of his family members feel about him and how he has touched their lives. As much as it is painful to watch someone you love suffer and die......the blessing of your loved one being allowed to hear that his life had purpose and meaning....is worth every moment that we wait..........and decreases his suffering just a little more.......Thank you Aunt Norma, Uncle Dick, Aunt Susan, Uncle Al, Cousin Deb, Chelsea and Keith, Shawn, Tara, Zach, Anna, Christian, Linda, Scott and all the babies for coming to remind my dad what a truly beautful soul he is.

My Dad is taking a break at the moment, (a nap) one that is well deserved. He has some labored breathing, but is at least sleeping. He was resting earlier and he had a smile on his face. I accidently woke him up at that moment.....and he said he was dreaming of a beautiful little girl.....I said I am sorry I woke you up....he said...Me too....I don't know who she was, but she was a pretty little girl.... (Edited to add my cousin Deb, I am so sorry that I missed putting your name in there!)

Thursday, September 4, 2014


This. This is what he wants. He wants to hold the babies. I went into detail about the immortality of what this means. I beleive that to be true on a level that he doesn't comprehend. What he does know and what is so incredibly beautiful is that he said he wants to hold them again so that he can bless them. This man, who is lying in a bed dying is thinking about babies and wanting to bless them. I am so sad, I don't want to loose this man in my life. :(  PS, Thank you Jennifer Riopel for the photos of Ayvah and Grandpa I am so grateful you were there at this moment at the reunion to get these photos!) <3

Thursday, September 4, 2014

September 3, 2014 Noon update

My Dad is sleeping a lot, but is able to visit with company. The hospice nurse is finsihing up. Her assessment matches what I think as well. He has days to weeks left. What is most concerning is that he has transitioned so quickly to this point that he likely doesn't have weeks left. Again, no one has a crystal ball here. We only have experience of what other patients we have seen go through this process.

We have been open and honest with him about everything. As you can imagine, he still has his sense of humor, so you can expect to hear a few jokes about the fact that he is still "sucking air".....come enjoy the moments.....they are precious!

Thursday, September 4, 2014

September 4, 2014

Seven AM and we all slept the last 5 hours. More importantly, we all are still breathing this morning. I woke up at 5 and checked on him. He was sleeping and breathing, so I didn't touch him. I wasn't sure that I could go back to sleep, but I did. He remains sleeping and breathing and again, I really don't want to wake him up. Sonja is sleeping as well and heaven knows she needs it too. So sitting in the back bedroom to give you this quick update. I think I will grab a shower and try to get a few things picked up and organized. Depending on how my Dad is when he wakes up will determine how I spend the rest of today. I do need to retrieve some things from the West Branch office if nothing else. I also know that his hospice nurse is coming this morning and I think I want to at least be here for that visit and review with her what I think needs to be on hand medication wise should he continue to go on this path we will need to manage secreations and we don't have a couple of things that will help do that. That was probably more information than you wanted. (as well as one long run on sentence...and I am tying this instead of fixing that....ha....)

I am feeling like he is hanging in there. Likely so that he can see everyone who has called to say that they are coming between today and Sunday. I will tell you that the extra beds are full starting tonight and through Sunday. So there is no room at the "Green Inn" at this time for sleep overs. Day trips are available and desired! Please come. Even if he rallys and enjoys a few more months, you will bring a smile to his face at a time that he is pretty low.

Ok....updates will continue every few hours until I know he is out of the woods.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Resting comfortably

The bed is in the living room and he is asleep (ok, was asleep....now he is moving the bed up and down...oh my) Ok, I thnk he is comfortable again. I think Sonja and I are both afraid to go to bed. I think we both should though.....tomorrow may be a long day.....and I have a feeling tonight isn't going to be a walk in the park either. Will be calling my siblings in the morning......For Dad's siblings....he did ask at one point tonight if the Christmas party was this weekend. I asked why he wanted to know and he said, "well if it is this weekend, I may be able to make it". We told him it is next weekend and that this weekend lots of the grand kids are coming to visit. Ok....off to try to sleep....maybe in the recliner.....

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

September 3, 2014 - Take Two

It has been a rough night and about to get a tad more chaotic. It is nearly midnight and we are waiting for the DME company to bring a hospital bed. The fact that he accepted having a hostpital bed  brought into his living room in the middle of the night is fairly telling. He can't catch his breath, he has a fever. I just gave him roxanol to help with his breathing and that is making him more comfortable. We are watching Jimmy Falon, waiting for the bed. The fact that he has a fever is bothersome as that often comes as part of the end of life process. I will keep you posted as things transpire. This could just be a bad spell and he will rally for a few days, weeks or months. My gut tells me we are looking at days. Please be mindful of his condition as you come to visit. The bed is here.......more in a bit

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

September 3, 2014

There are lots of calls coming in for visits for my Dad. He is very loved.....and he loves everyone. I want everyone that can see him to see him. Please be mindful of a few things:
1. What my dad is going through in many ways Sonja is going through too. (on a deep emotional level). She is a strong person and also private in many ways. You likely won't notice the pain she is feeling and all that she is dealing with.
2. Don't expect that you can stay the night here. Please ask Sonja first. If you have small children (whom my Dad wants to see very much) it isn't going to be a wise idea to spend the night here. Day trips are recommended. Obviously those who are traveling far Sonja will want to accomodate you.
3. Again, having company can be costly, please be considerate. Bring a drink. Bring some cookies to share. If you are unable to do that, please don't let that stop you from coming!!!!! (seriously!)

I say these things because he is not doing well. Again, please know that I have no magic ball and I have no way of knowing except for my experience in hospice care....I also will add.....that experience and the fact that I am his daughter are colliding on a rather uncomfortable level.......

More in a bit........

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