Wayne Green

Wayne Green

Monday, November 24, 2014

November 24, 2014

I updated my computer software and it changed the way I have my "favorite" pages set up. It has been driving me a little nuts! So this blog was visible to me everyday before, so it made it easy to click on it and write. I think about writing everyday.....but it seems when I am at the computer, I don't always remember.  I think that I also am "healing" so to speak, so I have less emotion to vent.

Yesterday I had a "talk" of sorts with my dad. No I couldn't see him....not like that....but simply a knowing in my heart.....He told me that he fought so long to not die (mainly because he was afraid of the suffering he may experience) and he really didn't know that it would be ok. He said it didn't hurt and it all went very well. This has been one of the things that I wanted to "talk" to him about. The other thing that had bothered me was in that last week........I did everything I could to make him comfortable and to be sure that everyone else had time with him.....that I never sat down with him to talk to him about the fact that he was dying. He told me that he didn't want to talk about it....and that is why I didn't do it.......he was avoiding it even though it was happening...and he was sorry that he avoided that for me (and for Sonja) that he should have talked more to us about it.

He also said that he is still going to watch out for my car....protect me when I am driving and help me when things go wrong......

I am sure that sounds weird but.....I really wanted to get it down in writing.......before it fades from my memory...although........I don't think it will fade too far.......

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