Fitting in the last 4 days in one post, only because I was not home and did not have my laptop with me. One week from today will be the one year anniversary of his death. As you can read by the posts below from last year......it was not at all clear that he only had one week left to live. The last post that was made one week a year ago today begins to allude to the fact that I could tell things were moving in a direction that was not good. However on the 29th Jordan and Helen stopped by to visit him and I remember Jordan calling me and telling me that Grandpa looked really good and he was surprised because he was expeting to find him not well. When you are dealing with heart disease it is difficult as things can take a turn for the bad so quickly. The next week of posts will be the real walk through the ending of the grief......I don't think that the grief of losing your father ever really ends....I will miss him forever and always be a bit sad that he isn't on this earth with me......but the enormous cloud that hangs over my head can be laid to rest one week from today as I stand by his grave and let go of that. I miss him.....forever.........
Sunday, August 31, 2014
August 31, 2014
I called my Dad tonight and he didn't have a great day. He did get to visit with Gary and Dianne and someone else (I forgot who!). He felt a bit badly because he fell asleep while they were there. I said "as if you have never done that before!" HA! He is feeling dizzy again. He didn't have on his oxygen, so I asked him to put it on. I also called Hospice to have them come out and make it so he has oxygen to sleep as well.
He certainly is having good and bad days. I can't get a good read on what this means. He still is dead set on getting a heart cath "when" his kidney levels come down. It seems to be a hope that he is hanging on to. I certainly will help him accomplish this goal if that is what he wants even though I don't feel as if it is a good idea.
I mentioned before that I will be working in West Branch this week. If I can get the things accomplished that I need to get accomplished tomorrow. I plan to drive up and spend the evening with him and go to West Branch in the morning on Tuesday.
I told a few of my siblings already and I will mention it here. We really have no way of knowing the time that my Dad has left. When the heart is involved it just doesn't give us good info because things can go bad unexpectdly and in an instant. So what I say is, if your heart is calling you to visit or call, do it. It may not mean that he is going to be leaving this world soon, but it may be that you will have a treasured memory that you would not of had. Just listen to your gut.
This is actually true for all of us. Treasured memories are valuable. follow your heart. Live your life so that you find those treasured moments. None of us ever knows when we may leave this world.
I called my Dad tonight and he didn't have a great day. He did get to visit with Gary and Dianne and someone else (I forgot who!). He felt a bit badly because he fell asleep while they were there. I said "as if you have never done that before!" HA! He is feeling dizzy again. He didn't have on his oxygen, so I asked him to put it on. I also called Hospice to have them come out and make it so he has oxygen to sleep as well.
He certainly is having good and bad days. I can't get a good read on what this means. He still is dead set on getting a heart cath "when" his kidney levels come down. It seems to be a hope that he is hanging on to. I certainly will help him accomplish this goal if that is what he wants even though I don't feel as if it is a good idea.
I mentioned before that I will be working in West Branch this week. If I can get the things accomplished that I need to get accomplished tomorrow. I plan to drive up and spend the evening with him and go to West Branch in the morning on Tuesday.
I told a few of my siblings already and I will mention it here. We really have no way of knowing the time that my Dad has left. When the heart is involved it just doesn't give us good info because things can go bad unexpectdly and in an instant. So what I say is, if your heart is calling you to visit or call, do it. It may not mean that he is going to be leaving this world soon, but it may be that you will have a treasured memory that you would not of had. Just listen to your gut.
This is actually true for all of us. Treasured memories are valuable. follow your heart. Live your life so that you find those treasured moments. None of us ever knows when we may leave this world.
August 30, 2014
Scott and Renee Warne (my brother and sister in law) stopped to have breakfast with our Dad and Sonja this morning. My dad sure is enjoying those who are stopping by to see him! He also is really thankful for his hospice team and care that they are providing. He finally admitted to me that he signed up for hospice "for" me, but is really glad now that he did. He said he really didn't realize how much they do for a person and the fact that you really don't need to be dying tomorrow to be on hospice!
His biggest complaint today is that his head hurts (the incision from the surgical removal of the basal cell skin cancer). It sounds like quite the wound! I asked if he took a pain pill and he said that he forgot. *SMH* (*Shake My Head*).
I will be at my West Branch office this coming week, so I will get to see him at least one evening. With only 3 weeks left at my current position, and 1 of those weeks I am actually helping out with an office in Wisconsin, I am a bit frantic making sure that each of my offices have what they need and are ready for surveys that are coming up. I probably will be working late for the next 3 weeks. However, for SURE I will be taking one evening to head over to see him!
If you are wondering what you can be praying for when you think of my Dad, please pray that he finds freedom from the heavy burden he is carrying. He loves his wife very much and the burden of leaving her and not knowing that she will be finacially sound is weighing heavy on him. Thank you
Scott and Renee Warne (my brother and sister in law) stopped to have breakfast with our Dad and Sonja this morning. My dad sure is enjoying those who are stopping by to see him! He also is really thankful for his hospice team and care that they are providing. He finally admitted to me that he signed up for hospice "for" me, but is really glad now that he did. He said he really didn't realize how much they do for a person and the fact that you really don't need to be dying tomorrow to be on hospice!
His biggest complaint today is that his head hurts (the incision from the surgical removal of the basal cell skin cancer). It sounds like quite the wound! I asked if he took a pain pill and he said that he forgot. *SMH* (*Shake My Head*).
I will be at my West Branch office this coming week, so I will get to see him at least one evening. With only 3 weeks left at my current position, and 1 of those weeks I am actually helping out with an office in Wisconsin, I am a bit frantic making sure that each of my offices have what they need and are ready for surveys that are coming up. I probably will be working late for the next 3 weeks. However, for SURE I will be taking one evening to head over to see him!
If you are wondering what you can be praying for when you think of my Dad, please pray that he finds freedom from the heavy burden he is carrying. He loves his wife very much and the burden of leaving her and not knowing that she will be finacially sound is weighing heavy on him. Thank you
His biggest complaint today is that his head hurts (the incision from the surgical removal of the basal cell skin cancer). It sounds like quite the wound! I asked if he took a pain pill and he said that he forgot. *SMH* (*Shake My Head*).
I will be at my West Branch office this coming week, so I will get to see him at least one evening. With only 3 weeks left at my current position, and 1 of those weeks I am actually helping out with an office in Wisconsin, I am a bit frantic making sure that each of my offices have what they need and are ready for surveys that are coming up. I probably will be working late for the next 3 weeks. However, for SURE I will be taking one evening to head over to see him!
If you are wondering what you can be praying for when you think of my Dad, please pray that he finds freedom from the heavy burden he is carrying. He loves his wife very much and the burden of leaving her and not knowing that she will be finacially sound is weighing heavy on him. Thank you
Friday, August 29, 2014
August 29, 2014
My dad thinks that he may of had vertigo the last 3 weeks. He has been dizzy and unstable. He actually was using a walker this week. When he woke up today, the dizziness was gone and he felt better. So we are hoping that is what it was. He does use oxygen when he is sitting around the house and has some that he can take with him. It seems to help. Jordan and Helen (my son and his girlfriend) stopped by to visit with grandpa today. They were heading up to Grand Traverse Bay with Helen's parents for the weekend in a cabin on the bay. Helen's parents also met Grandpa and visited for a bit. He is enjoying getting to visit with family. So if you are in the area, don't be shy to stop by and see him! I am hoping to get up there again soon. Hoping to bring my husband Dave with me, maybe they can go fishing or something fun and relaxing
My dad thinks that he may of had vertigo the last 3 weeks. He has been dizzy and unstable. He actually was using a walker this week. When he woke up today, the dizziness was gone and he felt better. So we are hoping that is what it was. He does use oxygen when he is sitting around the house and has some that he can take with him. It seems to help. Jordan and Helen (my son and his girlfriend) stopped by to visit with grandpa today. They were heading up to Grand Traverse Bay with Helen's parents for the weekend in a cabin on the bay. Helen's parents also met Grandpa and visited for a bit. He is enjoying getting to visit with family. So if you are in the area, don't be shy to stop by and see him! I am hoping to get up there again soon. Hoping to bring my husband Dave with me, maybe they can go fishing or something fun and relaxing
Thursday, August 28, 2014
August 28, 2014
This has been a very busy week. I apologize for not getting a post up yesterday, my father is doing good! Hospice is helping to do exactly what we wanted. His anxiety is down and that helps keep his symptoms under control.he did have the cancer spot on his head surgically removed yesterday. He gets these basal cell cancer spots on his head mostly due to the anti rejection medications. That is causing him the most pain at the moment. My brother Brian is there now to do yard work and some other things that dad is not able to do right now. Thank you Brian!
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