October 29, 2014

I could easily begin every single post, every single day with...........

I miss my Dad.

And

That

Will

Never

Change.

My heart squeezes, my throat gets tight, tears sting my eyes. I imagine that the physical emotion will fade with time, but I do believe that there will not be a day that goes by that I will not miss him.

Something has changed though........now I also feel.........Gratitude. How incredibly grateful I am that I had this man in my life. That I had someone that loved me beyond reason, adored me, allowed me to feel like the most loved me that was ever possible. Not everyone is fortunate to have that.....or even know that they have it. I am grateful that I am going to miss this man because I have something to miss.

I love you Dad, Thank you for all that you gave to me with the love that you showed me every chance that you had. I have a grateful heart that you were my Dad and I was able to be present with you in the last week of your life. I hope that those days were exactly what you wanted them to be. You deserved to have that last week be exactly what your soul needed it to be. I hope and pray that I did what you needed me to do. I am sorry if I missed anything at all. I did everything that I knew to do and did the very best that I could. I can think of many things that I could have done differently and I am sorry that I didn't think of them at the time. I am going to trust now that it was what you needed and that you forgive me if I made any mistakes. I miss you and I wish that I could talk to you one last time. I think I will always want that forever more and one day....I will get to do that again.....I am lookng forward to that day.........until then........I love you.