Technically today is the funeral. I still need to sleep as it is just past midnight. I have just touched up the eulogy and printed it. I think I have everything ready.....I have to be up in 5 hours to get ready and be on the road. I have spoken to my brothers every day since my father died. I am looking forward to seeing them tomorrow and getting a hug from them. I am looking forward to seeing my father again...even though it is just the vessel of him......I have no idea how this is going to go......
After the luncheon we will go to my father's home so that we can be together as a family. I also need to have a few items of his, just to remind me of him. I want to go to his closet and see if there is a shirt that smells like him......I am not sure what it will be that will come home with me.....I sure it won't be anything worth much to anyone but me......it isn't about the material value....it is about the emotional value........
I won't have time to post tomorrow until after the service. Possibly when I get back to his house, I can write a quick post. Otherwise, be prepared for a nice long one late tomorrow night.
Thank you for the strength and prayers you are sending my way........I know that I will need them.....I just need to be strong until after the eulogy......then.....there will be no walls up.......scary....but my hubby will be with me and that will allow me to let go if I need to.
I know it is real. I know he is gone. But I still can't beleive it.........
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