September 19, 2014

I am not sure how this works. Logically I know that my dad is gone. I saw the life drain from his body. My mind continues to be in disbelief. I do understand that this is a normal part of grief. I find it interesting how well our minds protect ourselves from the FULL load of the grief we would experience should we feel it all at once. There is no doubt it would be crippling beyone belief. I am thankful for that protection. It allows me to continue on.

The funny thing is.......I will be sitting and working, or talking to someone and my mind will think "Can they tell?" "Can they see that there is a huge hole in my heart?" How does life go on as if nothing happened? It happens less frequently then it did a week ago.....yet I still find myself sitting in a surreal world, not believing that he is gone.....yet wondering why everyone is behaving as if nothing happened. .....I just want to talk to him.....just one more time..........