September 4, 2014 - Evening update

Sorry to keep anyone hanging. My Dad is still with us. Breathing is labored. Most of the company has gone. *Deep Breath* I am. I just am. My Aunt Norma and Aunt Susan gave me the best hugs today that brought out a little bit of the daughter out. I logically know I need to be the daughter....it is just harder for me to let that out when the professional seems to be needed.
If I were doing nursing charting on his condition at this moment I would say:

Patient actively dying. Multiple system failure. 1+ pitting edema bilateral lower extremities. Ascites (edema around the abdomen). Irregular body temparture regulation. Labored breathing. Sleeping 22 out of 24 hours. Oxygen at 6 liters per Nasal Cannula. Pulse bounding and 80 beats per minute. no food intake since AM. Insulin pump removed. Sliding inslin scale in place if needed.

Here is what I say as a daughter.

My father is loved by more people then I possibly could imagine. I sit in awe of the flow of people, some that I have never met, coming to his bedside to tell him how loved they have always felt by him, what a wonderful role model he is to the teenage children of one who stoppped by......it is countless. Such dichotomy to feel such joy and such sorrow at the same time.

The daughter version is so much nicer to read..............

My gut says that he is trying to make it to Sunday to see Jen, John and the kids......his symptoms give me pause as to if he can make it......it is my hope that he does.

No more updates tonight unless there is a change in his condition. I will update first thing in the morning should the night go by without a bump.

I can't thank each of you enough for reading along, for loving my Dad, and for doing whatever you can to let him know that. All of the moments have been treasured by him....and those of us sitting in awe of it all.