Tomorrow is the funeral. Today is packed with finsihing up the eulogy, finishing up the photo boards, figuring out what I am going to wear, and a few other things that I need to get done. I go back to work on Thursday and Friday. That is ambitious for certain, but I begin my new position on September 22 which means I only have one week left after this week to tie up loose ends with all of my offices. I need to work, so I know that I will get through it and then have the weekend.
I am looking forward to seeing those that I love tomorrow. Seeing my dad one last time. Having him buried in Cadillac makes me a little sad because I realize now that I very likley would go to his graveside often this first year and that isn't something that is going to happen with him being so far away.
My husband has been so incredible. We had a tree that had to be cut down in our front yard. He is getting the stump grinded out and has me looking for a tree to plant in memory of my father. We also are going to have a spot on the wall as you walk up the stairs that is a special tribute to my father. I will share the photos once we have those ready.
I just have to make it through today, then make it through tomorrow (although I want to enjoy my family....enjoy the time that I have will all of them) and then really be able to walk the journey of grief and grow in that.
So many have offered kind words, either in phone calls, comments here, comments on facebook and emails. Every single one has meant so much to me. I truly can't thank you enough. I also need to thank Heartland Hospice - West Branch - they cared for my father very well. It could have been an intimidating job to do since I have been their hospice consultant, but all they showed was love and support. The nurses especially Jessica and Karen, were able to talk me off the ledge a few times......so many things that you know as a hospice nurse suddenly become a little grey when the hospice patient is your own father. It was comforting to me to know I could double check and not feel silly asking the questions that I knew the answers to, but somehow was unsure.
I thank each and every one of you. It has been amazing to feel those kind words in my heart. Thank you.
This song is likely about a lost love......but it speaks almost exactly how I feel.......It is on my iphone that i play in the car when I am traveling and I would sing this to my dad when I was driving........
I can't Let you Go