Today after work I drove the 90 miles to Cadillac to visit my Dad's grave for the first time since he was buried one week ago today. My heart is very heavy tonight. I took some flowers, bright blue daisies in a glass vase with rocks in the vase to hold it down. I am nearly positive that glass vases are not allowed at the cemetary, but I figured they weren't going to last long anyway and I wanted to do something. I didn't realize that the flowers that were on top of the casket would be there. It was a good time for me to cry. I found myself talking out loud to him through my tears, saying things that were on my heart but I had not verbalized them yet. It almost surprised me to hear the words. I wish his grave was near me so I could keep it looking beautiful.
I KNOW that he is not there. It is fully symbolic. Almost a feeling of caring for him....I have lost that now.....being able to care for him.....but maybe taking care of his grave would help to compensate. At least it feels that way right now.
I figured since he was a big Lions Fan, the Blue daisies were perfect. :) I miss him. I just miss him.
This photo is of me and my 3 brothers (Gary, me, Brian, and Scott) it was taken at the luncheon after my Dad's funeral. This photo makes me happy. It was posted on facebook by my brother Brian so when I got back to the hotel I saw it and it just made me smile the biggest smile!
All in all, it was a good day. It is always good to have a good cry and even better when you get a photo of your 3 brothers and yourself and you all look pretty darn spiffy!
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