My brother called today and he and my mom are going to drive over to see me tomorrow and bring the items from my Dad that he got for me last week. I am looking forward to seeing them both. I think it will be good to have them here on the day that it will be three weeks since Dad died.
Three weeks. It seems like an eternity since I talked to my Dad and it seems like it was just yesterday that he died. I want to stop wishing that he was here, wishing that I could talk to him again.....wishing that it all just isn't true.....or will I just always wish for that? I suppose I will always wish I could talk to him again, or see him again. Well, shoot, won't I always wish he wasn't dead?
I believe that it is best to live life in the present moment. Not yesterday, not tomorrow. Not even 5 minutes from now....but right this very moment. Right this very moment. I do wish that I could feel my dad's whiskers on my face as he was giving me a kiss and a tight squeeze that wouldn't end until he knew, that I knew....that he loved me. That is how I feel at this moment. I don't think that is necessarily living in the moment.
Then again......I have never lost someone I have loved so deeply before......so......I have some room for error............